My living room is now an infirmary! Someone is feeling better, can you tell which one?! #sons #autism #neurotypical #prince #sick #livingroom #infirmary #flu #autismmom #mother #mommy #siblings

So this Morning someone at work approached me and asked me about How I found out Donovan was Autistic. I began to explain to him. He then shared that he was terrified for his unborn grandchild. And even went as far as saying that he didn’t want grand kids anymore. This hurt me. I didn’t take it personally because I love my Donomite, but it brought up that thought of what will happen to my Donomite when I no longer able to protect him from such ignorance.

Tonight as my boys were enjoying their bath time. I watched them as they played. My Dusty (youngest) picked up the soap and wash cloth and began to wash my Donomite. At first my instinct was to stop him and do it myself, but my eyes flooded with tears. He looked so proud taking care of his big brother. And it made a little better about my Donomite’s future. It also made me feel good as a mother. Watching him be so nurturing it means that he knows it because he’s experienced it. I’m not perfect but I am doing the best I can.

#picstitch #family #siblings #pizza #homemade #pepperonipizza #food #yummy #yummygoodnessbythehernandezcrew #fun #preciousmoments #kids (Taken with Instagram)

I made some beautiful beings!!! Well I had some help, but he only did all the fun stuff! #family #siblings #love #prideandjoy #princess #prince (Taken with Instagram)

#picstitch #myreasonforexisting #love #life #family #iphone #kids #siblings #devynn #dustin #donovan #sisters #brothers #sons #daughter #autism #autistic #autismmom #prideandjoy #princess #prince (Taken with Instagram)

She’s the oldest but he is gonna tower over her, she better be nice!!!! Lmao #siblings #sisters #brothers #family #love #future #autismmom #autism #autistic #son #daughter #devynn #donovan (Taken with Instagram)

My Donomite is socializing!!! He is engaging with other children his age range in a game of tag.

A little girl approached Devynn to play tag and then asked Donomite. He said yes and Devynn proceeded to give her the rules of Donomite. I was both proud and sad hearing her explain his disability.

My car is at the shop getting a make over because she is heading back to her original home at Nissan, so I am riding public transportation.  Yesterday morning was pretty easy except for the slow stop and go that drove a bit insane.  This morning’s bus ride made me cry. 

Those that follow me know that I am a proud Autism mom who adores my Donomite.  I also have two “typical” children.  All three are the air that I breathe, the blood that flows through my veins, and without them I could not live!  As a parent you hope and wish that you do a good job at planting the right seeds in order for your children to blossom and become awesome adults. Youhope that they then will do the same for their children.  But you also worry about what will happen to them once you are gone.  Especially when you have a child with special needs that will most likely need care throughout their lives.  (my eyes are swelling as I type)

Back to my point, LOL sorry! I take the BX 21 to get to work, and I usually bring my ear buds to listening to music and entertain myself.  This morning I had a bit of a shaky start, and got distracted and left my ear buds home.  This made me more aware of my surroundings.  At one of the stops a man got on the bus.  He was shaking a bit as if he were nervous.  There were plenty of empty seats, but he sat next to me.  I noticed a slight odor and braced myself for the ride.  The man began to rock and wiggle his fingers.  And this made me think of my Awesome Donomite.  It made me think about my little boy as a man, and how people would perceive him.  You see and hear so many people talking about people smelling foul and being weird on buses and trains.  So many thoughts ran through my head, and it broke my heart to think of my little boy being alone, and being ridiculed because of mean, ignorant people.  This then cause a snowball effect.  It made me think of Devynn when she has her anxiety attacks, and begins to worry about me dying.  “Mom, when you die, and I have to take care of the boys, will I have a husband?” (truth that is what she asked me!) It makes me feel both hopeful and sad.  I pray that I raise my children, to love and respect one another and those around them.  I want them to want to be there for each other, and appreciate each other! 

God is an awesome being and I know that he will give them the strength he has given me to make it. 

I pray every night before I go to bed at night.  Each and every night I start my prayer off by thanking the good Lord for allowing me another day on this great earth that he created.  I thank him for giving my the gift of life and the gift of giving life.  I am forever grateful for the three most amazing gifts that I have been blessed to conceive and deliver.  I will forever treasure these gifts with my life, and would give up my life for them in the blink of an eye.  No matter what I do, did, or have done, they will always be my greatest accomplishments.  They aren’t perfect, but yet no one is. To me they are the closest thing to perfection I have created.  And God allowed me to do the great honor! 

I also thank God for the ability to love, because I am overflowing with love for my children!  

Yep mama said there would be days like this and I knew that she was telling the truth! Cause my mama ain’t no liar, But it doesn’t make these days less difficult to manage or handle. With all the heads up it still throws you for a loop when you are faced with a situation or situations where you feel like you’ve failed or that things aren’t what you’d like them to be.

Being a working mom and having 3 young children, one with special needs and a toddler of 3 years old, it is really difficult to keep it all together. There are days like today where you feel like everything is caving in on you. I’m still scratching and clawing my way thru it all, but I can’t help but fantasize about me being swept away to a tranquil location off the radar for a bit. I cant help but wish there was such things as fairies or fairy godmothers that can wave their magical wands and sprinkle their pixie dust and make it all grand!

Instead I’m stuck with reality, sick from eating a batch of bad chicken and having to clean my house and fold like 20 loads of laundry and put it all away. Thank God dinner is done but now I have to serve the children and get them ready for bed. Bedtime is like 4 hour process of trying to get them to sleep in their own beds only to have them all in my bed at 4 am.

Thank you for blogs that allow you rant about your gripes so that you don’t have a major meltdown